EVERY PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE

What a way to usher in the Summer...

We went to the park. Kids were playing and having fun. A little background information- there are two “sides” to this park. One is new and nice, and the other has older equipment and not so nice.

So, we started out hanging out on the new side. When I go to the park, I am always looking for my son's color clothing to keep tabs on him- that's the first thing I look for. That day, he was wearing red, white and blue Champion shorts and a dark gray/olive shirt with a scorpion on the front from a store called “Grisino” in Argentina. I can go on about the details of his clothing. This is important information to know – in case he gets lost...

I bent down to fix my daughter's shoe, and look up to locate my son. I looked around the park, looking for his red shorts. I looked a little more... oh- there he is (heart rate down, at ease)...no – that's another child in red shorts, more or less his age and hair color. I look more, hoping that that little leg peering out of the playground equipment is his...nope. I enter into panic mode. I swoop up baby girl and start scouring the park. I was about to start asking people if they saw him, when I looked to the other playground on the other side of the park. Looking for the red shorts. I spot them. I find him.

I run over to him. I start crying, tears of joy and relief. He looked at me like I was half crazy at first...or joking around...I think he got the idea though- that it was for real. That is how much I love him. In between my crying I told him: “I thought I lost you. I thought somebody took you. I couldn't find you. I looked all over. You have to ask me first or tell me where you are going. I love you and don't want anything to happen to you”. Imagine all that said with tears streaming down my face.

Little boy in the red shorts: found. A very loving Mama: relieved.

The Third Most Important Person

We unfortunately, like most people, need to work. I cannot stay home with the kids. Well, technically I probably can, but that's a story for another day.

The thing is, we needed a babysitter. We went through a couple, until we found one that was perfect. This is a big deal-- you are trusting this person with your child or children. There are so many things they must be- honest, patient, giving, loving, punctual, etc....the list goes on.

Thinking about having to look for another babysitter makes me nervous. Thank God we do not have to do that. She has been there for us since a little after my son's first birthday. She has been with us at least three years. She has seen my son start to walk and all the beautiful in between moments until now, at four years old. She has known my daughter since she was born, and has been taking care of her since she was four months old- she is now 17 months, so you can imagine how their relationship has grown.

She loves our kids so much. She protects them. We feel completely at ease leaving them with her. She is such a hard worker. After watching our kids, she goes to her second job, which I guess would be her “real” job, but I know that she takes the responsibility of watching our kids just as seriously.

A sincere thank you to her and the person she is. She has become part of our family.  

MY LOVE OF ANIMALS

When I was young, and people asked you: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My first recollection of a response is “a veterinarean”. I always liked taking care of animals-- and my best friend's younger brother!

There are two things I probably hate more than anything else in the world-- pet peeves if you will: 1.) People that litter and 2.) People that are mean to animals.

I sometimes watch all the nature shows and think how cool it would be to hold a baby tiger cub, to do something proactive to help endangered animals. But, here we are in 2011, and the best I can do is love my two cats, Kiko and Colita to bits!

I am a member of the World Wildlife Federation and get the token greeting cards and address labels in the mail. I am a member of the ASPCA and have some decals to show for it. And, then there are always the letters, talking about how you can help with just 50 cents a day-- way to make me feel guilty.

So, how is my love for animals evident? Well, I once set off a school alarm because my fish, yes fish, needed its medicine.  Now, bear in mind, this was not when I was a child; this was just about two years ago, as a Teacher.  Most people would have just let the fish die.  I don't think people got it.  I worried every night about the fish. I can't even go to the animal shelter without crying about how “nobody wants the old ones”.

Now I am a Science teacher, which goes hand in hand with animal care. This year we watched the metamorphosis of the butterfly. We watched it go through the stages of the life cycle-- amazing. School is over, and they are still in the chrysalis (pupa) stage. Last night I kept thinking what I was going to do with them- who was going to take care of them. I left them with the main office personnel- hope they're okay. I will be calling in two days to see how they are and make sure they are being properly cared for. When they were caterpillars (larva), a student accidentally knocked the jar down and they were just making their way up to the top of the jar to prepare to make a chrysalis. One made it back up to the top (where they are supposed to be according to the directions), and one stayed on the bottom. I was so upset. I cried. I think it's just a value for any life, no matter how small. We all play a role on this planet, so respect for all living things is a value I will definitely instill in my children.

On the other hand, animals make me happy. I can totally see how animals help people in a therapeutic way. They are non judgmental and just listen- if you need to talk. They love you if you love them.

Anybody who's ever had and loved an animal can relate. If you haven't, you may find such a love and attachment a bit overboard or strange. I can assure you, it's real, and it's wonderful- to love and be loved by an animal.

Marriage - The Promise

Two very exciting life-changing events recently happened. Not for me, for two people very close to me, my best friend Colleen, and my brother Bobby. They got married.

My Aunt and Uncle will soon be celebrating their 50 year wedding anniversary. This is definitely something to be celebrated. But, why is it so damn hard to stay together these days??? Three words: Marriage- is- work. It's not easy.

Maybe people these days don't want to work at a relationship....so-- you “break up”, (also known as “divorce”). But if you think back to the day you said those wedding vows to each other, and truly meant it, you are breaking a promise.

I am not married long at all (5 years, yay!), but I gave them some words of advice from a novice at this thing called marriage. (Replace the “her” with “him” if needed- this advice is for both husband and wife).

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• Take the time to remember why you got married, the feelings... rekindle and remember those same feelings
• Be respectful at all times, with your actions and words
• Words hurt... a lot- think before you speak
• It is okay to have “down time”, with or without your wife/husband
• Show your affection...don't underestimate the power of a hug
• Tell her you love her...often
• Listen, listen....and listen
• Surprise her
• Recognize that we all have strengths and weaknesses, virtues and faults
• Look for those strengths and virtues – they surely outnumber the weaknesses and faults
• Be willing to admit you made a mistake
• Say you are sorry
• Be honest
• Say how you are feeling
• Make her/him and your marriage a priority, make sacrifices (this may mean saying “no” to other things or just staying home)

These are things that came off the top of my head, real, practical and from the heart advice (from your little sister, I know... ;)

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Corinthians 13:4"

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For Bobby and Lauren, Colleen and Mike- Congratulations! Enjoy the journey, remember your vows... and my words of wisdom!  

MILESTONE

So, another milestone is coming up. My baby boy is “graduating”...his first of I hope many graduations. It's not even preschool. It's pre pre school.  He won't wear a gown or graduate magna cum laude, but nonetheless I am certain I will cry as I swell with pride. There are so many “firsts”. Things that we as adults may take for granted...moments of pure innocence as a child learns about the world. My brother told me how awesome it was to see his daughter discover her shadow for the first time. There is a wonderful quote about this:

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.

                                      ~ Rachel Carson

To see things as a kid and be in that moment is simply amazing. We are too busy many times in our adult lives to savor these moments and memories.

Back to graduation. It is an accomplishment, just like learning to ride a bicycle or jump off the diving board.

I knew I would cry, at least shed a tear. It didn't take long- just a look at the program...I choked up.

So, take the time to discover with your kids the world around you-- you may learn something new along the way.

CONGRATULATIONS BABY BOY – We love you more than words can say. We hope to be the best parents we can for you, that you grow up confident, giving, loving and happy. 

TIME

Are You “together”?

Why is my life such a whirlwind? I wish I had more of a lot of things, but most of all I wish that I had more time. Time with my husband, time with my kids, free time, time for myself, time to exercise. I feel like I'm never “together” in any aspect of my life. I said to a friend one day venting: “Other woman always seem like they're so “together””. She pointed out that I said “seem”, so they could just be faking it? I feel like I fall short of being a wife, mother, daughter and sister. I don't even have time to get my shoes or clothes organized. (I've been meaning to do that for months now). Why do all the woman at work (even the ones with kids, so that's no excuse) always look so much more “together” than me? I'm lucky I get out the door. I hardly sleep more than 4 hours a night. When other woman talk about going home to cook, I feel a little embarrassed...I don't cook much...shouldn't I be cooking for my husband, like a good wife? Shouldn't I be giving him back rubs or something? I'm too freakin' tired most days to get off the couch after work (I'm not exagerrating). I'm tired of being tired. Too tired to play with Mateo and Maia. It makes me mad. My house (apartment) is always a mess. I'm not the class mother that bakes cakes and cupcakes. I see other people that have kids, but manage to take care of themselves, much better than I. A mother with triplets that manages to go the gym and run marathons!?! I know you should not compare, but it's hard not to. I guess I need to work on making some time for me. Did I lose “me”? As life changes with kids and a family, your time needs to be spent wisely- as there is not a lot of it!

On a more positive note...toys all over the place don't make me who I am. Mateo will not care in the long run if I made the cupcakes or bought them, as long as I am there (wherever “there” may be) - spending my TIME with him.

This entry was kind of all over the place, but you get the idea... ;)

ENJOY THE MOMENT

It was a typical night. Maia goes to sleep....wakes up a little while later. I go to her. I usually just nurse her back to sleep, but I didn't that night. I held her. This may not sound like a big deal. But it is. I felt her little body next to mine, her heartbeat, as I lay on the bed, her in my arms. I wanted to look at her, but the lights were off. I wanted to watch her sleeping in my arms. Now this is something that 14 months ago, I would not have thought was so heartwarming. She was colicky, cried almost all the time, and we basically had to hold her for the first three months. But, things change. She changed. She is no longer a baby. (Hold- that just got me teary-eyed!). She is an active toddler, exploring the world with hardly any time for snuggling. She doesn't need me...well, in that way any more as much. It's those moments that we need to remember. There is the eternal battle between the sleep tyrants and the more “attachment” parenting types. I don't consider myself either. I guess I would lean more towards the attachment though. You will not have your child to cuddle up with forever. Soon, you won't be able to carry them in your arms, so ENJOY THE MOMENT. Every age and stage has these moments and you'll never be able to go back in time. We can just say “remember when”.