TIME

Are You “together”?

Why is my life such a whirlwind? I wish I had more of a lot of things, but most of all I wish that I had more time. Time with my husband, time with my kids, free time, time for myself, time to exercise. I feel like I'm never “together” in any aspect of my life. I said to a friend one day venting: “Other woman always seem like they're so “together””. She pointed out that I said “seem”, so they could just be faking it? I feel like I fall short of being a wife, mother, daughter and sister. I don't even have time to get my shoes or clothes organized. (I've been meaning to do that for months now). Why do all the woman at work (even the ones with kids, so that's no excuse) always look so much more “together” than me? I'm lucky I get out the door. I hardly sleep more than 4 hours a night. When other woman talk about going home to cook, I feel a little embarrassed...I don't cook much...shouldn't I be cooking for my husband, like a good wife? Shouldn't I be giving him back rubs or something? I'm too freakin' tired most days to get off the couch after work (I'm not exagerrating). I'm tired of being tired. Too tired to play with Mateo and Maia. It makes me mad. My house (apartment) is always a mess. I'm not the class mother that bakes cakes and cupcakes. I see other people that have kids, but manage to take care of themselves, much better than I. A mother with triplets that manages to go the gym and run marathons!?! I know you should not compare, but it's hard not to. I guess I need to work on making some time for me. Did I lose “me”? As life changes with kids and a family, your time needs to be spent wisely- as there is not a lot of it!

On a more positive note...toys all over the place don't make me who I am. Mateo will not care in the long run if I made the cupcakes or bought them, as long as I am there (wherever “there” may be) - spending my TIME with him.

This entry was kind of all over the place, but you get the idea... ;)