Two very exciting life-changing events recently happened. Not for me, for two people very close to me, my best friend Colleen, and my brother Bobby. They got married.
My Aunt and Uncle will soon be celebrating their 50 year wedding anniversary. This is definitely something to be celebrated. But, why is it so damn hard to stay together these days??? Three words: Marriage- is- work. It's not easy.
Maybe people these days don't want to work at a relationship....so-- you “break up”, (also known as “divorce”). But if you think back to the day you said those wedding vows to each other, and truly meant it, you are breaking a promise.
I am not married long at all (5 years, yay!), but I gave them some words of advice from a novice at this thing called marriage. (Replace the “her” with “him” if needed- this advice is for both husband and wife).
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- Take the time to remember why you got married, the feelings... rekindle and remember those same feelings
- Be respectful at all times, with your actions and words
- Words hurt... a lot- think before you speak
- It is okay to have “down time”, with or without your wife/husband
- Show your affection...don't underestimate the power of a hug
- Tell her you love her...often
- Listen, listen....and listen
- Surprise her
- Recognize that we all have strengths and weaknesses, virtues and faults
- Look for those strengths and virtues – they surely outnumber the weaknesses and faults
- Be willing to admit you made a mistake
- Say you are sorry
- Be honest
- Say how you are feeling
- Make her/him and your marriage a priority, make sacrifices (this may mean saying “no” to other things or just staying home)
These are things that came off the top of my head, real, practical and from the heart advice (from your little sister, I know... ;)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Corinthians 13:4"
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For Bobby and Lauren, Colleen and Mike- Congratulations! Enjoy the journey, remember your vows... and my words of wisdom!
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